Outcome
Sunday, May 27, 2007 @ 8:45 AM
They hugged and kissed each other, like long-lost besties. Following that, they shared pictures of my childhood and laughed at some funny shots. That was how the meeting went between my 2 most favourite women in my life.

YEAH RIGHT.

Firstly, if any of that came true, I'd have died in heaven. Secondly, 2 most favourite women in my life? HAAHA, you got to be kidding me. Mother hasn't been talking to me since last Sunday because she thought I purposely wanted to skip madrasah, but NOOOO, ahmedblack told me that there was no madrasah. So, when I told her that, did she believe me? Ahbviously no.

So, we waited like 10 minutes outside the AVT for Boobies. & the minute Boobies showed Mother the results, her eyes started fluttering and I went, Here we go again. You wanna know why? Mother cried. But being so accustomed to her drama-queen antics, I couldn't care less. Not that I'm a bad child, but she cries at every damn thing.

EG, Hindustan movies, when she saw my P1 cousin's results and all 3 times she met my teachers. Goodness gracious, get a grip on yourself.

& Mother had the nerve to tell Boobies that I studied 1 day before the exam, I studied for 10 minutes on my bed and fel asleep and whatever nonsense I was tuning out. I wanted to give my side of the story, but NOOOOOOO, I couldn't. Know why? I was about to cry((:

I'm emo too.

So, for an hour or less, I let the 2 of them criticise me but I didn't say anything. I just stared in empty spaces, nodding my head at regular intervals and blinking back hot tears. Mother has a second nerve to say that I've been hanging with friends who pose a bad influence on me. & Boobies just had to show their results. OOPS, they all kinda failed their overall worst than me. So, Mother asked Boobies to keep an eye on me and change my friends and she gave Boobies the right to smack me anytime I want. Motherfucker.

My friends don't really have an effect on my studies. It's all on my part. Even if I were to hang out with Basil and LipChew, they don't go home straight after school, right? Basil plays football. The both of them play LAN. So, WTF? I wouldn't mind "hanging" with them, at least I wouldn't have to go home early, right? Let me make my own friends and make me realise whether it's a mistake on my part. Hell yeah, I'm sure they're not.

I was scuttling off to Computer Lab 1 after that disastrous meeting and tears just flowed down my cheeks. I can't stand not being able to give my side. Noone believes right? I studied my bloody ass off for Combined Science but maybe that wasn't enough. The hunger for more is there but you think I don't yearn for it? Which fool doesn't?

"You study also for what? Later still fail."

That was what Mother said to me last year.I lost all hope and energy and motivation to study for my Final Term. Totally lost it. & when you tell me to study, it's ina rude/harsh/negative tone. So, you still think I have the mood to study? I know I shouldn't let this affect me but This shit is coming from my own mother and I can't tolerate it.

I can't go out. I'M SIXTEEN GODDAMMIT. I'm not 12 where you can still look after me.

Mother said to Boobies that when I was in Primary School, I had no difficulty being told to study. You wanna fucking know why? It's because you caned me to study, you caned me when I obtained 98 marks for Maths, you caned me for every bloody thing. The scars subsided but the memories never stayed. I though you hit me because you were in pain from all the drugs you ahd to take but later on I realised, you're just nuts. I had no fun to speak of in Primary School. Textbooks, Assessment Books were my best friends. I used to like sports, I was in Floorball, Basketball, Badminton but you never let me play outside curriculum or CCA time. I was stuck at home readin books that were supposed to "shape" me to become a successful person. D o I fucking look successful to you now?

That's why in secondary school, I let loose the moment I entered band. Never had I gone to a place where I could just let my hair done and relax. I loved that place but hey, circumstances changed. I changed. I buy the stuff that appeals to me, WITH MY OWN MONEY, Not my parents. They still said that they paid for all my Topman shit and whatnot. Goodness, All my Topman shit were bought by me, Tash and Al. The only stuff that you bought for me was that long-sleeved Vneck tee and I had to pay you back. Misers. All the branded goods I wanted, I paid with my own savings amassed over a period of time.

Shit, I don't know why but I'm crying. I just can't stand. I've been bottling everything up and tolerating your shit.

Forget it.

Anyway, let's move on to happier subjects. Like I'm going to watch Blades of Glory in 3 hours. Of course, THEY don't know. I'm supposed to have madrasah but then, there's none today. Hey, at leaat I'm not skipping it. Anyway, This will be my only form of going out after the 2 week school ends. I'm not allowed to ask to go out and whatnot. I don't mind really, but I just feel that I need to get away from all this shit at least once a week.

Ytd's trip to Orchard was so merepek nak mampos. They never bothered to tell me where they were going and I never bothered to ask, so is it my fault that you'll were too stubborn to ask me where Taka's Food Basement was? OR the underpass to Tangs? So, I had to follow them stupidly as they lead me through the entire Orchard just to get to those places. Bodoh Sombong, kan?