Wednesday, September 12, 2007 @ 8:40 AM
I won't be as unreasonable here. I know that you don't know I pulled an all-nighter for my Physics, so naturally when I got home at 1, I slept. Until 6. I know, sue me but consider the fact that I studied for Physics from 10pm until 5:30am. I could have slept until 7pmconsidering I was so pooped out, but everything must go your way right? But you didn't have to bang my doors and scream at me in my slumber, did you? Just 'cos you thought I was supposed to have tuition with that ahlian. &i don't even want the freaking tuition. It's fruitless for me to have tuition for E Maths. I don't need that. E Maths just needs practice. But of course, you're so stereotypical that in your mind, every exam deficiency can be solved by a tutor.

I'm letting you take money out of my account and pay for this freaking tuition. I objected but do I have any right here? That money was all my hard work in Primary School, getting Bursaries. Did you get the bursaries? NO, IT WAS ME. So, why are you yelling at me that it's YOUR money and that I shouldn't care much.

GTH. This is the final straw. She made me realise that my life with Mother Hitler sucks half of the time. Now, I don't care anymore about perceptions and the works. I'm all set on bending the rules. I'm having a freaking craving for Lychee Martini but I don't even know what that is. But I'm all set to satisfy that craving. I'm done trying to please people. I live only once, so what's the point in making it miserable. Why not try new things? Maybe I won't go as far as drinking but I think I'll experiment. &some of you might think I've been gay since like forever but nope, I'm not. Maybe now I'll start my bisexuality, or my "double life". &if some people out there don't agree with what I'm doing, I'll say politely, sod that/you. I might lose some friends and all, and I would be devastated to lose you, but I feel like I've been l've been living life like a nun. I don't care if anyone approaches the subject of my level of femme 'cos I'm not bothered at all by it anymore. Life goes on, right?

&QAF has given me inspiration. I think it's really sweet that the older guy could bother to come for this teenager's prom and they kissed right there and then! I mean, I won't do that but I'm just trying to experiment to see if this works out. I mean, there are as many hot guys as there are as many hot girls.

So, I called Nash to spill my guts out about this ordeal. She ddin't react adversely. I know she felt sad abit but she encouraged me. She knows the sordid details of my life and she feels I have time to make my teenage years a lil better. Hell, she even gave me tips to start liking guys. Funny, right? She told me to look at hot guys only :D I mean, I ogle at guys to check out what they're wearing and how that their hair is soo much nicer than mine and all. &this is why i love her truckloads. and also smth else of course.

Now guys, this is not a crazy rant. I'm not feeling pissed. I'm just thinking what I missed out. Cos, believe me I spent an hour thinking about this. It might not feel right but why not give it a chance. If Zai can do it, so can I. Haaha :D

I'm feeling so much better. &also, because Tristan messaged me :D For the record, I did not even msg him in the first place. SO, YEAH I'M HAPPY.

For the past few days, been frequenting Galilee at Pasir Ris Library. Sunday it was all me and later on, Fatin. Monday it was Shida, Ersian and Zai with moi. Tuesday it was just hanging out with Sha, Shida, Zana and Ersy. THEY HAVE NICE FOOD. &since today is the last day before puasa, I'm meeting Shaheen to study. She for E Maths 2 and me for light studying on Geog MCQ.

I love my friends. I only started loving my friends in the 3rd year cos I found people that I really enjoyed hanging out with. Although there might be some bitching going ard, BUT HEY THAT'S LIFE. ILUILU SAMA LU.

Arrivederci :D